Care too much. Try too hard.

Everyday when I go to bed I think, "One more day done". And then I think, "Why can't I enjoy my life?" "Why does everyday have to be such a struggle?" I'm such a perfectionist that I can't let myself loose. I can't just be crazy for a day and not do my homework. I can't speak out because I'm scared someone will judge me and think I'm dumb or stupid or anything. I can't be myself because truly WHO AM I? I'm not who everyone might think I am. Smart, perfect. Those are not words I would use to describe myself. I'm not even close to those words. I study so hard for my grades because I care too much. I try too hard. I put my whole self into one test or one assignment. I can't imagine going home and relaxing. Homework is top priority. In the summer I'm a totally different person. I'm so refreshed and relaxed and it feels like I don't have any cares in the world. I just wish I could be that girl year round. Someone who I'd love to be and love to show. Someone who doesn't care too much or try too hard. Someone who lives life for that day not the next. I think you'd like that girl.

Summer... where are you?

SUMMER.
I can't wait for it!!! I hate winter so much. It's just so cold and everyone gets sick. It's a bummer. But summer is so much fun. It's warm and everyone is in a better mood. Winter has some good things, too. There's Christmas, New Years, and the first snow but other than that it's pretty lame. It's too long. And of course in summer we don't have to go to school. That's probably why I like summer so much. It's actually pretty warm out today. My Mom just said it's supposed to get up to 35 degrees. So, maybe summer is on its way. I hope so!